Apologies from the Desk

Dear Jackie,

This is a note of apology from your desk. I know you didn't choose me, that this relationship was forced upon us by the Housing department. I have always been aware of this, but in the past I have taken out my own frustration on you. It was wrong of me to make my drawers stick and to resist your efforts to make me better. I shouldn't have been but I'll admit that I was jealous of Sam's desk because she decorated it better. It's not your fault that you're an anal retentive math-science person who favors clean lines and simplicity. I appreciate your efforts to personalize me by adding a framed family picture and some novels to the shelf where your store those textbooks. Those textbooks by the way, weigh a ton and you really should consider taking lighter courses. Anyway, I was just writing to say that I'm sorry for all the things that I have done to you which you didn't deserve. But could you maybe pretty please consider dusting me once in while?

Thanks,
Your Desk Bernie