I hate Geico commercials in general, but this is just too funny:
6/30/10
6/28/10
18 Continuous minutes
Tonight I have a treat for you my friends. Ok not really. This is actually quite likely to be my most boring blog to date, but my wacky inner child is insisting I try it. For the nexy 18 minutes (until 11 o'clock) I will blog continuously. My thoughts laid bare for you for the next 18 minutes. Should be a fairly short post, haha.
GO GAMECOCKS! The game is on (SEVEN. NOTHING.) so expect some GO COCKS randomly interjected. Super awesome game. UCLA is getting creamed tonight.
I am not interested in seeing Night and Day. I just don't want to see another spy couple movie. It's just getting old. Mr. and Mrs. Smith, that movie that just came out with Catherine Heigle or however she spells it...about a thousand other movies/tv shows. It's just not original. I'd like to see the superhero movie fad die out too.
Another hit! Aw look at the cute kids in their gamecock jerseys! All children should wear cute little jerseys at games. It should be a requirement. Oh I love how they have to point out that Clemson and Carolina hate each other. I mean everyone at that game knew that. That dumb little blond interviewer they have was like "And you're here with your big rival, University of South Carolina, how does that make you feel?" over and over again with the clemson coach. Man she is dumb.
That's right change pitchers. Do whatever you think you need to do. We are so gonna win.
I'm not a big baseball fan. It just doesn't move fast enough for me and I don't understand all the rules. I know the basics. I can follow along well enough. I just don't get the umpires' calls most of the time. Aaand we've got our guy on third. I didn't know that we only have 1 NCAA championship. Kind of embarrassing really. Especially since UCLA has like 126 or something. Crazy. I'm not a fan of the the socks pulled up over the pants. I've seen two pitchers do that. I haven't noticed if our pitcher does it or not. What advantage does that give you? I can't really see you having a big problem with loose pants when you're pitching. Plus they're not really that loose either.
"Sharks have a week dedicated to him". I love that line. Too funny.
Oh! OMG. They're making a movie about that short story. Ok. Sorry. The short story is about this dude who ends up on this island owned by this rich dude who hunts a lot. The rich dude is really nice to him and is like showing him all his hunting trophies and stuff and then he (our protagonist) realizes that the dude brings in slaves to the island and hunts them. In opposition to hunting with him, the protagonist ends up being the rich dude's opponent in a kill or be killed hunt. Protagonist kills rich dude, happy ending. So there's going to be this movie with a dude who takes these people on a hunting trip and then they become the "game". Yes. Ok.
Blake Cooper...does not pull his socks up. Hm. You know I think everyone on UCLA's team does the sock thing. Must be a style choice. Not one I agree with. Not flattering. Although I don't like our gray uniforms. I wish we had garnet ones instead. With black pants. Yes. That would look a lot better. These just look dingy. But at least we don't pull our socks up over our pants.
Oh come on. Get them out. I don't want them to score. I want a shut out. Oh and now we're talking to the pitcher. Will he stay or get switched? Stay apparently. Come on. Pitch him strikes. Just strike him out. Yes. See he must be able to hear me through the tv afterall. Crap. Bases loaded. We need to get our act together and not run into each other so much. And Cooper's going in. Well he did a good job but I think it's time to put in a closer. Listen to me. A closer. Like I know what I'm talking about. I have officially watched way to much ESPN.
I have actually gone over by 8 minutes. Bonus!
GO GAMECOCKS! The game is on (SEVEN. NOTHING.) so expect some GO COCKS randomly interjected. Super awesome game. UCLA is getting creamed tonight.
I am not interested in seeing Night and Day. I just don't want to see another spy couple movie. It's just getting old. Mr. and Mrs. Smith, that movie that just came out with Catherine Heigle or however she spells it...about a thousand other movies/tv shows. It's just not original. I'd like to see the superhero movie fad die out too.
Another hit! Aw look at the cute kids in their gamecock jerseys! All children should wear cute little jerseys at games. It should be a requirement. Oh I love how they have to point out that Clemson and Carolina hate each other. I mean everyone at that game knew that. That dumb little blond interviewer they have was like "And you're here with your big rival, University of South Carolina, how does that make you feel?" over and over again with the clemson coach. Man she is dumb.
That's right change pitchers. Do whatever you think you need to do. We are so gonna win.
I'm not a big baseball fan. It just doesn't move fast enough for me and I don't understand all the rules. I know the basics. I can follow along well enough. I just don't get the umpires' calls most of the time. Aaand we've got our guy on third. I didn't know that we only have 1 NCAA championship. Kind of embarrassing really. Especially since UCLA has like 126 or something. Crazy. I'm not a fan of the the socks pulled up over the pants. I've seen two pitchers do that. I haven't noticed if our pitcher does it or not. What advantage does that give you? I can't really see you having a big problem with loose pants when you're pitching. Plus they're not really that loose either.
"Sharks have a week dedicated to him". I love that line. Too funny.
Oh! OMG. They're making a movie about that short story. Ok. Sorry. The short story is about this dude who ends up on this island owned by this rich dude who hunts a lot. The rich dude is really nice to him and is like showing him all his hunting trophies and stuff and then he (our protagonist) realizes that the dude brings in slaves to the island and hunts them. In opposition to hunting with him, the protagonist ends up being the rich dude's opponent in a kill or be killed hunt. Protagonist kills rich dude, happy ending. So there's going to be this movie with a dude who takes these people on a hunting trip and then they become the "game". Yes. Ok.
Blake Cooper...does not pull his socks up. Hm. You know I think everyone on UCLA's team does the sock thing. Must be a style choice. Not one I agree with. Not flattering. Although I don't like our gray uniforms. I wish we had garnet ones instead. With black pants. Yes. That would look a lot better. These just look dingy. But at least we don't pull our socks up over our pants.
Oh come on. Get them out. I don't want them to score. I want a shut out. Oh and now we're talking to the pitcher. Will he stay or get switched? Stay apparently. Come on. Pitch him strikes. Just strike him out. Yes. See he must be able to hear me through the tv afterall. Crap. Bases loaded. We need to get our act together and not run into each other so much. And Cooper's going in. Well he did a good job but I think it's time to put in a closer. Listen to me. A closer. Like I know what I'm talking about. I have officially watched way to much ESPN.
I have actually gone over by 8 minutes. Bonus!
6/26/10
The Jackie Cantwell Swimwear Laws
I went to HI two weeks ago and I spent the past weekend at Myrtle Beach and my ability to control my comments about other people's bathing suit choices is now gone. So here are the new rules, and I expect everyone to follow them, for the general public benefit:
1.) Just because you can physically fit into a particular bathing suit does not mean it fits you properly. You should only wear bathing suits that actually fit.
2.) Bathing suits should be age appropriate. Just because they sell bikinis in the store that you shop in does not make them automatically appropriate for you. If you don't have the body for a bikini, you are not allowed to wear one. I don't care if you are "forty and fabulous" you have passed the time in your life when a bikini was appropriate.
3.) You are not allowed to wear a bikini if you're pregnant. I'm sorry, it's just wrong.
4.) For both men and women, your bottom should cover your bottom. If I can see butt crack, it's too low.
5.) Speedos are totally illegal. Not manly and not attractive.
6.) If you're going to wear a string bikini you need to double knot the strings. And that's all I'm going to say on that one.
7.) General rule of thumb, if you would not want to see someone else of your age and body type wearing that bathing suit, you shouldn't either.
1.) Just because you can physically fit into a particular bathing suit does not mean it fits you properly. You should only wear bathing suits that actually fit.
2.) Bathing suits should be age appropriate. Just because they sell bikinis in the store that you shop in does not make them automatically appropriate for you. If you don't have the body for a bikini, you are not allowed to wear one. I don't care if you are "forty and fabulous" you have passed the time in your life when a bikini was appropriate.
3.) You are not allowed to wear a bikini if you're pregnant. I'm sorry, it's just wrong.
4.) For both men and women, your bottom should cover your bottom. If I can see butt crack, it's too low.
5.) Speedos are totally illegal. Not manly and not attractive.
6.) If you're going to wear a string bikini you need to double knot the strings. And that's all I'm going to say on that one.
7.) General rule of thumb, if you would not want to see someone else of your age and body type wearing that bathing suit, you shouldn't either.
6/21/10
10 TV Jobs I'd LOVE to Have
#10: Sideline Sports Reporter. Simply because I'd do a waaaay better job than any of the bimbos that somehow get paid to go, "So, like, Brett, as the uh team captain, how do you think you're going to, um, play after halftime? Do you think you'll like play differently?"
#9: Judge on pretty much any of the major competition shows (Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, America's Got Talent). Because I'd be awesome.
#8: Camera girl for ESPN College. For the sole purpose of forcing the camera to show the band instead of the cheerleaders every once in a while. I mean, come on, if we switched uniforms, I think the band would be FAR more popular than the cheerleaders. Think about it.
#7: Taste tester for the Ace of Cakes. I know this job doesn't exist, but it totally should. It would be so delicious.
#6: I wouldn't mind taste testing for Alton Brown either.
#5: I want to design a challenge for and be a guest judge on Project Runway. Do you have any idea how epic that would be??
#4: Whatever level of Producer/Channel owner is required to control what commercials come on. I don't mind commercials if they're funny, but all those "ask your doctor about"'s have got to go.
#3: Camera man for "Planet Earth". SUPER EPIC.
For the record, the next two were super close.
#2: Show host for the travel channel. Travel the world, all expenses paid, as your job? Hell yeah I'd do that!
#1: Mythbuster. I would LOVE to be a mythbuster. Science, crazy myths, and explosives, oh my!
#9: Judge on pretty much any of the major competition shows (Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, America's Got Talent). Because I'd be awesome.
#8: Camera girl for ESPN College. For the sole purpose of forcing the camera to show the band instead of the cheerleaders every once in a while. I mean, come on, if we switched uniforms, I think the band would be FAR more popular than the cheerleaders. Think about it.
#7: Taste tester for the Ace of Cakes. I know this job doesn't exist, but it totally should. It would be so delicious.
#6: I wouldn't mind taste testing for Alton Brown either.
#5: I want to design a challenge for and be a guest judge on Project Runway. Do you have any idea how epic that would be??
#4: Whatever level of Producer/Channel owner is required to control what commercials come on. I don't mind commercials if they're funny, but all those "ask your doctor about"'s have got to go.
#3: Camera man for "Planet Earth". SUPER EPIC.
For the record, the next two were super close.
#2: Show host for the travel channel. Travel the world, all expenses paid, as your job? Hell yeah I'd do that!
#1: Mythbuster. I would LOVE to be a mythbuster. Science, crazy myths, and explosives, oh my!
6/16/10
Super Good Day
1.) Successfully adjusted to Atlanta time.
2.) I got to cuddle with my dog.
3.) Got a free coca cola at the gas station. Apparently they are very appreciative of their customers.
4.) Drove to Columbia, no problems.
5.) Went to work for a little while and was semi-productive. (inventory).
6.) Grocery: lots of yummy food, including Stouffers for dinner. Plus more dinosaur chicken nuggets.
7.) I did not get rained on during my walk back from parking Fred.
8.) I got my first paycheck as a lab assistant. That's right. I am awesome.
9.) Enjoyed america's got talent.
10.) I ordered the online textbook I have to buy for next semester and the grand total was a whopping $26. Be impressed.
2.) I got to cuddle with my dog.
3.) Got a free coca cola at the gas station. Apparently they are very appreciative of their customers.
4.) Drove to Columbia, no problems.
5.) Went to work for a little while and was semi-productive. (inventory).
6.) Grocery: lots of yummy food, including Stouffers for dinner. Plus more dinosaur chicken nuggets.
7.) I did not get rained on during my walk back from parking Fred.
8.) I got my first paycheck as a lab assistant. That's right. I am awesome.
9.) Enjoyed america's got talent.
10.) I ordered the online textbook I have to buy for next semester and the grand total was a whopping $26. Be impressed.
6/1/10
Big Day in the Lab
Well the boss had been gone the last two weeks (visiting researcher in Japan) and today he came back. Now I would like to remind my readers (all three of you) that we are, generally speaking, fairly productive. The problem with chemistry, science, and research in general, is that it's a lot of hurry up and wait. Emphasis on the wait. If you get too far ahead of yourself, you risk wasting time, energy, and resources (never good). So there's always a limit to how "productive" you can be in any given amount of time because you need to have some kind of results before you can move on.
So there we all are looking at our lab books and our crystals (or not, as the case may be) and trying to decide how best to make it sound like there's more than there really is. Or rather, how to show our efforts to their best advantage. Anyway. So we're all also kind of drifting around the various parts of the lab. No one wants to run into him first. But you can only be vaguely evasive for so long. The boss decides to set up individual meeting times with each of us, to discuss "where you're at" (aka what the hell you've been doing for two unsupervised weeks) and "what your next steps should be" (aka what you ideally should have already done). Guess who got to go today? Yep, yours truly.
Apparently, I'm on track. Do I now have enough to keep me busy for the next 2 years? Of course. But I managed to escape with what a grade school would call "Satisfactory". Score one for Jackie! The other side to this is that meeting with the boss is like meeting with a tidal wave. He just overflows with ideas of what you could do.
So there we all are looking at our lab books and our crystals (or not, as the case may be) and trying to decide how best to make it sound like there's more than there really is. Or rather, how to show our efforts to their best advantage. Anyway. So we're all also kind of drifting around the various parts of the lab. No one wants to run into him first. But you can only be vaguely evasive for so long. The boss decides to set up individual meeting times with each of us, to discuss "where you're at" (aka what the hell you've been doing for two unsupervised weeks) and "what your next steps should be" (aka what you ideally should have already done). Guess who got to go today? Yep, yours truly.
Apparently, I'm on track. Do I now have enough to keep me busy for the next 2 years? Of course. But I managed to escape with what a grade school would call "Satisfactory". Score one for Jackie! The other side to this is that meeting with the boss is like meeting with a tidal wave. He just overflows with ideas of what you could do.
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