New Favorite Commercial

I hate Geico commercials in general, but this is just too funny:

18 Continuous minutes

Tonight I have a treat for you my friends. Ok not really. This is actually quite likely to be my most boring blog to date, but my wacky inner child is insisting I try it. For the nexy 18 minutes (until 11 o'clock) I will blog continuously. My thoughts laid bare for you for the next 18 minutes. Should be a fairly short post, haha.

GO GAMECOCKS! The game is on (SEVEN. NOTHING.) so expect some GO COCKS randomly interjected. Super awesome game. UCLA is getting creamed tonight.

I am not interested in seeing Night and Day. I just don't want to see another spy couple movie. It's just getting old. Mr. and Mrs. Smith, that movie that just came out with Catherine Heigle or however she spells it...about a thousand other movies/tv shows. It's just not original. I'd like to see the superhero movie fad die out too.

Another hit! Aw look at the cute kids in their gamecock jerseys! All children should wear cute little jerseys at games. It should be a requirement. Oh I love how they have to point out that Clemson and Carolina hate each other. I mean everyone at that game knew that. That dumb little blond interviewer they have was like "And you're here with your big rival, University of South Carolina, how does that make you feel?" over and over again with the clemson coach. Man she is dumb.

That's right change pitchers. Do whatever you think you need to do. We are so gonna win.

I'm not a big baseball fan. It just doesn't move fast enough for me and I don't understand all the rules. I know the basics. I can follow along well enough. I just don't get the umpires' calls most of the time. Aaand we've got our guy on third. I didn't know that we only have 1 NCAA championship. Kind of embarrassing really. Especially since UCLA has like 126 or something. Crazy. I'm not a fan of the the socks pulled up over the pants. I've seen two pitchers do that. I haven't noticed if our pitcher does it or not. What advantage does that give you? I can't really see you having a big problem with loose pants when you're pitching. Plus they're not really that loose either.

"Sharks have a week dedicated to him". I love that line. Too funny.

Oh! OMG. They're making a movie about that short story. Ok. Sorry. The short story is about this dude who ends up on this island owned by this rich dude who hunts a lot. The rich dude is really nice to him and is like showing him all his hunting trophies and stuff and then he (our protagonist) realizes that the dude brings in slaves to the island and hunts them. In opposition to hunting with him, the protagonist ends up being the rich dude's opponent in a kill or be killed hunt. Protagonist kills rich dude, happy ending. So there's going to be this movie with a dude who takes these people on a hunting trip and then they become the "game". Yes. Ok.

Blake Cooper...does not pull his socks up. Hm. You know I think everyone on UCLA's team does the sock thing. Must be a style choice. Not one I agree with. Not flattering. Although I don't like our gray uniforms. I wish we had garnet ones instead. With black pants. Yes. That would look a lot better. These just look dingy. But at least we don't pull our socks up over our pants.

Oh come on. Get them out. I don't want them to score. I want a shut out. Oh and now we're talking to the pitcher. Will he stay or get switched? Stay apparently. Come on. Pitch him strikes. Just strike him out. Yes. See he must be able to hear me through the tv afterall. Crap. Bases loaded. We need to get our act together and not run into each other so much. And Cooper's going in. Well he did a good job but I think it's time to put in a closer. Listen to me. A closer. Like I know what I'm talking about. I have officially watched way to much ESPN.


I have actually gone over by 8 minutes. Bonus!

The Jackie Cantwell Swimwear Laws

I went to HI two weeks ago and I spent the past weekend at Myrtle Beach and my ability to control my comments about other people's bathing suit choices is now gone. So here are the new rules, and I expect everyone to follow them, for the general public benefit:

1.) Just because you can physically fit into a particular bathing suit does not mean it fits you properly. You should only wear bathing suits that actually fit.

2.) Bathing suits should be age appropriate. Just because they sell bikinis in the store that you shop in does not make them automatically appropriate for you. If you don't have the body for a bikini, you are not allowed to wear one. I don't care if you are "forty and fabulous" you have passed the time in your life when a bikini was appropriate.

3.) You are not allowed to wear a bikini if you're pregnant. I'm sorry, it's just wrong.

4.) For both men and women, your bottom should cover your bottom. If I can see butt crack, it's too low.

5.) Speedos are totally illegal. Not manly and not attractive.

6.) If you're going to wear a string bikini you need to double knot the strings. And that's all I'm going to say on that one.

7.) General rule of thumb, if you would not want to see someone else of your age and body type wearing that bathing suit, you shouldn't either.

10 TV Jobs I'd LOVE to Have

#10: Sideline Sports Reporter. Simply because I'd do a waaaay better job than any of the bimbos that somehow get paid to go, "So, like, Brett, as the uh team captain, how do you think you're going to, um, play after halftime? Do you think you'll like play differently?"

#9: Judge on pretty much any of the major competition shows (Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, America's Got Talent). Because I'd be awesome.

#8: Camera girl for ESPN College. For the sole purpose of forcing the camera to show the band instead of the cheerleaders every once in a while. I mean, come on, if we switched uniforms, I think the band would be FAR more popular than the cheerleaders. Think about it.

#7: Taste tester for the Ace of Cakes. I know this job doesn't exist, but it totally should. It would be so delicious.

#6: I wouldn't mind taste testing for Alton Brown either.

#5: I want to design a challenge for and be a guest judge on Project Runway. Do you have any idea how epic that would be??

#4: Whatever level of Producer/Channel owner is required to control what commercials come on. I don't mind commercials if they're funny, but all those "ask your doctor about"'s have got to go.

#3: Camera man for "Planet Earth". SUPER EPIC.

For the record, the next two were super close.

#2: Show host for the travel channel. Travel the world, all expenses paid, as your job? Hell yeah I'd do that!

#1: Mythbuster. I would LOVE to be a mythbuster. Science, crazy myths, and explosives, oh my!

Super Good Day

1.) Successfully adjusted to Atlanta time.

2.) I got to cuddle with my dog.

3.) Got a free coca cola at the gas station. Apparently they are very appreciative of their customers.

4.) Drove to Columbia, no problems.

5.) Went to work for a little while and was semi-productive. (inventory).

6.) Grocery: lots of yummy food, including Stouffers for dinner. Plus more dinosaur chicken nuggets.

7.) I did not get rained on during my walk back from parking Fred.

8.) I got my first paycheck as a lab assistant. That's right. I am awesome.

9.) Enjoyed america's got talent.

10.) I ordered the online textbook I have to buy for next semester and the grand total was a whopping $26. Be impressed.

Big Day in the Lab

Well the boss had been gone the last two weeks (visiting researcher in Japan) and today he came back. Now I would like to remind my readers (all three of you) that we are, generally speaking, fairly productive. The problem with chemistry, science, and research in general, is that it's a lot of hurry up and wait. Emphasis on the wait. If you get too far ahead of yourself, you risk wasting time, energy, and resources (never good). So there's always a limit to how "productive" you can be in any given amount of time because you need to have some kind of results before you can move on.

So there we all are looking at our lab books and our crystals (or not, as the case may be) and trying to decide how best to make it sound like there's more than there really is. Or rather, how to show our efforts to their best advantage. Anyway. So we're all also kind of drifting around the various parts of the lab. No one wants to run into him first. But you can only be vaguely evasive for so long. The boss decides to set up individual meeting times with each of us, to discuss "where you're at" (aka what the hell you've been doing for two unsupervised weeks) and "what your next steps should be" (aka what you ideally should have already done). Guess who got to go today? Yep, yours truly.

Apparently, I'm on track. Do I now have enough to keep me busy for the next 2 years? Of course. But I managed to escape with what a grade school would call "Satisfactory". Score one for Jackie! The other side to this is that meeting with the boss is like meeting with a tidal wave. He just overflows with ideas of what you could do.

Goodbye Narnia, Hello Middle-earth

I have finished the Chronicles of Narnia! Anyone who has read them knows this really isn't much of an accomplishment, but all the same I can now say I have read the whole series. And I definitely have my favorites.

First, a little background: The books were originally published in the order The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe; Prince Caspian; The Voyage of the Dawn Treader; The Silver Chair; The Horse and His Boy; The Magician's Nephew; and last The Last Battle. Now there are all kinds of scholars who argue the merits of reading them in their original publishing order. Lots of junk about how The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe was clearly meant to be read first and that chronological order is really not that necessary. However, an old letter from Professor Lewis to his son mentioned a preference for the chronological order (he also said it didn't think it mattered what order they were read in). I personally like the chronological order because it makes it easier to follow some of the leaps in Narnian time.

At any rate, my favorite is The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Followed by The Horse and His Boy. The Last Battle gets third because although I like some of the beautiful imagery in the end, I'm not big on "end of the world" stories. They scare me too much and I don't have a dog to cuddle with. Prince Caspian ties with The Silver Chair. I will admit that Prince Caspian is a much better character in Dawn Treader; he's really dense in his first book, but then again so are Eustace and Jill. Magician's Nephew comes next because again the imagery is beautiful. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe comes dead last. I just don't like that one, which I hate to admit because most people like that one the best. *sigh*

Well, anyway, now I'm going to go back to Middle-earth. Parts 2 and 3 of Lord of the Rings are beckoning.

Adventures

It was a cloudy day outside the GSRC. The researchers were researching. The reactions were reacting. The sonicators were sonicating. All was normal. Until something disturbed the quiet halls of academia. That something was a fire alarm. 

Now the great and sage professor had told his pupils on countless occasions, "We don't do fire drills. If you hear a siren, it's real. Just get out!" So it was with great haste that the young student made her way down the winding path of the stairwell, followed closely by her confused foreign comrade, who had never heard the formidable call of the fire alarm. 

With great patience the little community of scholars gathered outside their ivory tower and waited for clarification. A fire truck and a small delegation of the local police arrived, only to foster the growing curiosity of the group. Finally an agent of the Health and Safety Department was found and the scientists were enlightened. They finally learned as they filed back to their respective places of study the cause of all the commotion. 

Apparently if there's too much water flow in a particular tube in the mechanics room it automatically sets off the fire alarm. Fantastic. 

Summer Projects

Well here I am. On campus in the summer. Another adventure is underway. I have two summer projects that I'm working on.

Summer Project 1: Reading

I've always got an incredibly long reading list, but this summer I particularly want to read the Chronicles of Narnia Series and parts 2 and 3 of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy. I'm taking a class next fall about Lewis, Tolkien, and Williams, and I've got a bad feeling that I'll be the only person in the class who is not fluent in Elvish. I have seen both the "regular" and the extended editions of all three movies and read the Fellowship. So I'm probably about on par with a normal person's understanding of LOTR. And trust me, that's accomplishment because last fall I didn't even know who Legolas was or how to spell Gandalf. Sad but true. Right now though I'm working on Narnia because I'm borrowing the series from my sister. I had previously read the first two but that was a long time ago, so I just reread those and today I finished book 3, the Horse and His Boy. I really don't want or need all the other people in the class shunning me as the loser who hasn't even read the Narnia series or heaven forbid be the person who hasn't read Lord of the Rings. So this is definitely getting priority on the reading list.

Summer Project 2: Don't Starve

The situation: No more meal plan. Also no freezer and limited fridge space.
The conflict: I like eating.
The solution: Microwaveable easy mac.
Haha I'm just kidding. I eat more than easy mac. I went to the grocery and got myself some bread and sandwich stuffs. And poptarts (I Looooooove poptarts). Also got a fruit bowl thing with pineapple, strawberries and kiwis. Cuz you know I've got to at least try to eat healthy. I do of course have the cosco bulk box of easy mac. Yum. I had soups but I finished those last night, so no more until I get back to the grocery. The major purchase was Jimmy Dean fully cooked sausage patties. I was leary but Mere eats the bacon all the time (she doesn't even microwave which I think is gross). As it turns out they're not bad. Yesterdays breakfast was two sausages cut up on a bagel with some cheese. Delicious. So I'm not starving yet. Dinner is still a work in progress and tonight I think I may treat myself to some Which Wich.

The Calbert Report

Now go back and reread the title as "the calbear repour" if you didn't the first time.

Thank you.

First on the agenda: Where in the world is Jackie San Diego? Aka Jackie still wants to kick some people in the housing office. Stupid lazy overly complicated bureaucracy. grr. Yes I am still in my room on the 5th floor of the honors dorm and will be there until an undetermined time on one of two semi-determined dates. Becky and Casey (the suitemate) both left today so its fairly empty and frighteningly quiet. Plus the tv's gone.

Tomorrow looks to be a combination of Hectic and Tiring, with chances of Research in the afternoon. Be sure to bring along your Problem Solving Skills folks because we could get some pretty befuddling Packing storms throughout the day.

News of the weird: It seems my brain only cares to remember random factoids about specific randomly selected people. If you're not one of those randomly selected people, I seem to be capable of holding entire conversations with you without knowing your name or even how it is you know mine. A rather severe drought of name-memory was ended today when I finally stalked around facebook until I identified the poor boy.

Word of the day: vamoose. v. to depart quickly.

And now for The Bright Side, brought to you by Purex 3-in-1 Laundry Sheets! The curtains had very strange and inexplicable stains on them, in addition to looking like Kansas during the Dust Bowl. So into the wash went and now they look nice and fresh and clean.

And to end off our night, I saw a puppy going for a walk today. Good night America!

NRJ

The one awesome thing to come from this stupid "let's take business french it'll be so useful" idea of mine: NRJ.com. For our last project for the class we had to pick a french company and do a presentation on it. You know, powerpoint, 10-ish minutes, not that hard. Not a lot of guidance either, but that's a different topic. I did mine on Lacoste (the little crocodile shirts). The two guys who went the same day as me made me look great cuz they didn't know about the powerpoint requirement. haha. yep.

So Friday's presentations were much more like mine and this one guy (who's name I cannot remember for the life of me) did his on this french radio company, NRJ. It started as an acronym but it's not anymore. Pronounce it like "energy" with a french accent and you'll be good to go. So get this: they have online webradio stations. NRJ Pop, NRJ Rock, NRJ Reggae, etc etc etc. Now prepare yourself for: NRJ French. Yes. A free webradio station that plays round the clock non stop music exclusively in french. Can you say AWESOME? I can.

Curse you, beautiful sunshiny day

How am I supposed to get anything done on a pretty day? Worse than the internet trying to trick me into procrastination, the warm sunshine is just begging for me to nap on the horseshoe. Which I one hundred percent shouldn't do; there are far too many things that really really really ought to get done for me to go laying about and daydreaming. Humph. Maybe if I wish really hard and cross all my fingers my homework will do itself and my laundry will magically be clean and folded neatly in its drawers.

Oh I know, but a girl can dream right?

Holy Cow

I decided that I was going to head off my itchy eyes right from the get-go this year and bought allergy medicine today. Now I'm a bit, uh, reluctant to spend money so I went for the cheap CVS brand allergy tablets. You got 48 tablets for the same price as the 24 tablet box of name brand whatevers. And it clearly says "For allergy relief: sneezing, runny nose, itchy watery eyes, itchy throat". Great! That pretty much covers my basic anti-allergy medicine needs right?

WRONG.

When the back of the box says "marked drowsiness may occur" they are not kidding. I have been practically asleep on my feet all day. Oops. Really glad I only took 1 instead of the recommended 2. Geez. Moral of the story: don't mess around with allergy medicine. Always put down the money for the non-drowsy kind.

Science Quotes

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.
Evan Esar 

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'

Isaac Asimov (1920 - 1992)

There are no such things as applied sciences, only applications of science.
Louis Pasteur (1822 - 1895)

hehehe. 

Bummer

The real problem with spring break is that it ends. Going to class again is such a bummer. I don't really mind sitting through class so much, or even the learning thing. It's the whole homework thing that has to go. Oh and the getting up part. If I could stay in my nice warm bed and learn from there, it would be much better for sure.

In other news I'm reading Fellowship of the Ring and enjoying it.

Google Trends

This kind of stuff always peaks my interest.

Harry Potter reaps 5.2 times the number of searches as Lord of the Rings.

People search for "free movie" 17 times more often than "buy tickets".

Paris Hilton is 12.5 times more popular than Nicole Richie.

Katrina still gets 1.5 times more searches than Haiti.

3 times as many people searched for "physics help" than "biology help" and 1.36 times as many needed help with  chemistry than with physics.

Peace Corps is most often searched for in Washington DC, followed by Madison WI and Portland OR.

Sound Familiar?

You might work in lab if you're more afraid of what's on your hands before you go to the bathroom than after.

You might be a science major if your notes include the words "various math steps later".

You might be science kid if you have ever considered ditching class to go to a seminar.

You might be a chemist if your experiment would be illegal in your parents' garage.

You might be a physicist if you have ever been disappointed that your intro physics book didn't include the quantum mechanics appendix.

You might be a biologist if you have ever grown something that could wipe out an entire third world country.

You might be a science major if you think Schrodinger would be an epic name for a cat.

Or Earl and Meyer for a set of dogs.

Funny Story

     

Ages ago in Pchem (ok like two weeks ago) I turned to my dear friend Lindsey and I said, "Dearest friend Lindsey, I have procured an apartment for us for the upcoming academic year in a most favorable location, near a park". (Now you know me better than to think I would actually say it like that but just go along with it, ok?)

So she responded, "Oh really? Do tell!"

and I said, "Oh yes. We are to have 306, of Legare."










And do you know that she very specifically neglected to tell me until just today that the apartment I had procured with so little thought happens to be the very apartment which she inhabits at this very time? I cannot even begin to tell you my surprise!

Wait...what?

So my roommate considered going to the baseball game today. Then we realized that neither of us knew how to get tickets for sporting events. Because we're band kids. How sad is that?

For the forecast, I am now hoping it rains soon so I can wear my adorable plaid rain boots. Unfortunately today is far too bright and sunny to get away with wearing them.

In current events, I have a fairly busy weekend ahead of me. Volunteering as a returnee at the Study Abroad Pre-departure Q&A session today, tomorrow I'll be at a bball game in the afternoon (men's), carolina scholar weekend dorm tour at 5, immediately followed by bowling with the research group. Oh and sometime this weekend I need to do 3 lab reports. Hehehe.

Now back to the olympics...

Yay for me!

Ok excuse me while I do just a little bragging: A on my first physical chemistry exam, A on my first physical chemistry lab report. Boo-yah! K so out of my class of 46 persons, I was one of 17 to get an A. Now before you all go saying, but Jackie, I thought you said this was a weed-out class. Trust me it is. Another 16 people failed the test. It seems to have been one of things where if you got it, you really got it, but if you didn't, you REALLY didn't. I've been reserving judgement as to whether or not I like pchem until this first exam, because it's all well and good to say a class isn't that bad, but until you've taken the first test, you don't really know. So I give myself official license to like pchem.

Also in the good news category, I feel rather validated in my career choice (research chemist) in that pretty much everyday I feel like I'd rather just go to research all day. You have no idea how much more productive I could be if I didn't have to go to class and do homework. Sigh. Oh and I got to watch Kristina use the UV-vis spectrometer which was pretty cool, except it was having issues. It's kind of grumpy and only likes certain people. Apparently Kristina is not one of them.

Oh and as my final good thing of the day I had hot chocolate from Starbucks and it was yummy. Thank you and good night.